Contemplations: Seeking My Worth From Others

My recent article for Amaliah

How many times does the approval of others make you feel good about yourself?

I wouldn’t have to think twice before responding with a defiant “No way!”, but, deep down I know well and truly that a well-placed compliment puts a spring in my step. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that the appreciation, admiration and confirmation from those around me are often what drives me. When I’m without this, I feel my self-worth slowly slipping away from between my fingers, leaving me abandoned in my own cave of self-loathing.

Too many times I’ve felt let down by those around me – under appreciated and undervalued, resulting in a deep-rooted bitterness. But are the people around me really to blame? Sure, our Deen encourages us to value other people’s feeling so much so that showing gratitude to those around us is an extension of showing gratitude to Allah SWT.

“He has not thanked Allah who has not thanked people.” (Hadith, Abu Dawud 4811)

Image from Amaliah

Contemplations: Forget planning the fairytale wedding and start preparing more for married life

My recent article for the Muslim Vibe

As a young girl, I always dreamed of my perfect wedding day – the non-traditional big white dress, the pretty flowers, the carefully co-ordinated cake, background drapes and bridesmaids, but most importantly, I dreamed of the day where I would feel like a queen with all eyes on me!     

Throughout my teenage years right to my early 20s my fantasy evolved, and with each wedding I attended, be it a cousin’s, friend’s or a complete random stranger’s, my plans solidified, and I had put together the exact blueprints for my big day. All I needed now was a husband in order to execute my dream wedding.

And when the time came for marriage, try as I might, no matter how hard I tried to prevent myself from getting completely engrossed with wedding preparations, all I could think about was that one day, those few hours sitting on a stage in my white dress and my long-anticipated fantasy turning into a reality.

It’s only now, six months into marriage, that I realise how easily sidetracked I had become with all the wedding preparations.

Image from the Muslim Vibe

Contemplations: "My worst enemy was living between my very own ears..."

My recent article for Sisters Magazine

When I graduated from uni in 2014, like many other graduates, I struggled to get into the job market, and this bought me really down. I wrote this article at the time to fully explore my attitudes and emotions and figure out how to turn this negative into a positive! Now it serves as a reminder whenever I think life is not going to plan!

Image from Sisters Magazine

I’ve always thought of failure as the biggest flaw in life. I saw a lack of success as breaking down your credibility and exposing you to the dark underbelly of misery. Yes, my perception of failure was extremely simplistic, to the point that failure to pass my first driving test resembled a funeral procession in my mind on the way home and a B in my mock GCSE’s resulted in a classroom meltdown. But having failed my 11 Plus (primary school exam) as a child, I always felt that I had to constantly prove myself, and any failure led me back to that dark time in my personal history, when I opened that brown envelope to reveal that I would not be joining my friends at grammar school.